Talking about manifesting love and relationships is one of my favorite things to teach on and talk about because it was one of the very first things I began playing with manifestation wise. Growing up I saw dysfunctional relationships all around me. I was not born into a family that taught me about healthy relationships, what it looked like to be in love, or even where to find that.
I remember being 8 years old and listening to my aunt and her husband fight in the other room for the hundredth time that night. I was young, but I decided then and there that I would not have that kind of love. All I knew for sure was the kind of love I had witnessed up until that point which was chaos, fighting, and separation but I was willing to see things differently so like the little scientist I’ve always been at heart, I sat out to look for proof it could be different.
I actually have a memory box of stuff I’ve saved since I was a kid now and one of my favorite things inside of it is a picture of one of my cousins and his girlfriend at the time at a family wedding. It’s a candid picture the photographer took and they are gazing into each others eyes totally unaware they are being photographed. I remember seeing it in our photo album and feeling my heart swell: they were so in love. It was palpable. The intensity coming from the picture was all the convincing I needed and I took it from the photo album and stashed it in my memory box. On the back I wrote in pen “Proof”.
That was only the beginning for me and I began to hunt for love everywhere I went. At the grocery store, at restaurants we went to, in books, in movies. I began a process I now call when I am teaching manifestation “building faith”. I was changing my mind, little by little and day by day.
As you can tell, I started unlearning all the unhelpful stories about love very early on and began building my faith, setting my intentions, and manifesting what I truly craved: life changing, deep, passionate, beautiful love. As a result, I have very little resistance around love and in this post I’m going to break down how you can begin to unlearn your own stories about love and how you can manifest you own beautiful love!
1. Start Building Your Faith
The first step is to assess what you already believe about love and relationships. Just like everything else. we are taught rules about things based on what we observed as children from our parents but also the world around us. So the first thing you need to do is ask yourself is do you think true love is even real? And if you do believe it is real, do you believe you can have it? What kinds of things do you find yourself saying about love/dating? If you find that your beliefs and examples of relationships were less than perfect just like I did when I was 8, it is time to start building your faith!
When it comes to the brain we will always find proof of the things we are actively looking for. Start to think about yellow cars and suddenly they are all you will see! Same thing goes for love. Start actively looking for it and you will start to find it everywhere. Just like I did when I was little, start to create a list of every time you observe the kind of love you desire for yourself. This could be seeing couples be sweet to each other in public, this could be seeing the love between people in your own family, or even examples on social media, it doesn’t really matter. What does matter is that you do this until you believe it is possible and it can happen for you.
Depending on your unique upbringing and life experience you might have a lot to sort through, unlearn, and reprogram. That’s okay. I had no examples of the kind of relationship I hoped to have when I got older as a kid and for a long time, I didn’t even believe love was real as a way to protect myself. However, as I started to build my faith those defenses fell away and I began to think that love did not have to look like the chaos I was so familiar with. So start to seek out examples of the kind of love you crave, and begin to disprove the stories that say love isn’t real, you don’t deserve it, it’s hard to find, or whatever other untrue things your brain is telling you. No matter what, the ultimate truth is that you can manifest love and you deserve it.
2. Get Very Specific And Unapologetic
When it comes to how to manifest love and attract a soul partner you need to know what you really want. So many people are caught up in just wanting any relationship that they don’t think to get clear on what kind of relationship they actually want. When we don’t set clear standards for things we tend to just manifest whatever we subconsciously expect. Which, if you grew up seeing dysfunctional love, or no love at all is not a good thing. So many people feel like setting too high of a standard makes finding love harder but it’s not true. It is okay to want what you want and not back down until you get it.
I remember being 14 years old and feeling so weird seeing all my friends have their first boyfriends and get their first kisses and never having had a boyfriend or anything close to one. I remember talking to some of my friends one day and one of them who had just had her first kiss was telling us all about it.
It had been while playing a game of truth and dare and eventually the attention shifted to me as I was the only one hadn’t ever been kissed or had a boyfriend yet and I was asked why I never went out with anyone. I replied I wanted it to be like the movies and special. Most of friends poked fun at me and laughed saying that it was in the movies for a reason and that it was totally unrealistic to real life. I shrugged and basically channelled Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.
Anyway very shortly after I ended up dating my best friend. On one of our first dates he asked me to go our towns fair and it was one of the most magical days of my life. I had my first kiss on top of the ferris wheel right when the fire works show started. I remember feeling my heart swell and thinking to myself “I waited for this.”
We dated for years after and it was a transformational experience for me. He was everything I spent my time dreaming about and convincing myself was possible. We were young but that was my very first experience with the kind of love I wanted. He was empathetic, big hearted, and such a romantic. Just like I hoped. I never had any of the terrible experiences many of my friends had when we were teenagers because he was so unlike most of the boys they talked about.
He sent the cheesy texts, he was incredibly emotionally intelligent and helped me heal so many parts of myself, he wrote poems, and best of all he never left me wondering. He was so open, always there for me, and supported me fiercely in every single thing I did. Although it didn’t work out in the long term, it was a magical experience. I have no doubt now that I manifested him and our relationship together.
I tell you this story to say don’t let anyone tell you what is unrealistic. I wanted the fairy tale whisked away type of romance and first love and it is exactly what I got. Now I want you to ask yourself what kind of love do you want? What does your dream relationship look like if anything was possible? How does this person treat you? Are they romantic, patient, adventurous, kind? What kind of things do they say to you?
Nothing is too good for you or unrealistic so don’t censor yourself. I recommend doing this in your journal or the notes on your phone to start setting a standard for the kind of love you are attracting and manifesting. The most important thing to remember is that no matter what you desire, it is out there and you do not have to settle for less.
3. Feel The Feelings Of Love
If you are trying to manifest love it is important you start to surround yourself with these feelings and start feeling them inside. This is super important and what worked for me was watching a lot of romantic movies, reading romance novels, and integrating romance into all areas of my life. With every movie watched and book read, the kind of love I craved became more real and seemed closer and closer. When something really moves you there is rush of emotion that runs through you and that’s the kind of feelings I want you to create when it comes to love.
What moves each person is different but for me it was definitely movies and books. When I watched or read romantic things I could feel inside myself what the main character was feeling. I would feel after watching those movies or reading those books that love was real, that it was for me, that someone out there would care so deeply for me, take time to understand me, and put in massive effort to be with me. For you it might be music, spending time with other people who are in love, or something else but it doesn’t actually matter. What matters is creating the feelings of being in love in your body because when you can do that the universe will reflect them back to you very fast and you will attract someone wonderful and manifest love faster than you thought possible.
A lot of dating/love coaches might say watching romance movies and reading love stories might be a bad idea and give you unrealistic or unhealthy expectations but it’s not really about modeling your relationships after movies but viewing yourself like those main characters. Special, interesting, and worthy of a fantastic and life changing love story. Just like Allie in The Notebook, Vivian in Pretty Woman, and Lara Jean in To All The Boys I loved Before. You are the main character of your own life, so of course magical, fairytale-like, and awe inspiring things happen to you. Of course great love is a part of your story.
So do whatever it takes to inspire those loving feelings inside of you. If you’re looking for things to watch I honestly recommend Say I do on Netflix. The show is full of beautiful and magical love stories of the kind of stuff that is possible! Even if watching stuff isn’t your thing find what is and start to really feel it and watch stuff start to unfold and you start to manifest love with ease!
4. Decide You Are Destined For Great Love
When any thought comes up that tries to tell you that what you want isn’t possible, or it’s too late, or no one like that exists, remember that because you desire great love that you are destined for it. When you set a new standard for something in your life it is like drawing a line in the sand. From that point on, it is this or something better. That’s what I want you to do with your love life.
You are special, wonderful, and interesting, of course someone will fall in love with you. Now the question is, will you find someone to fall in love with! I think a lot of the times when we want something so bad we ignore red flags, settle, and put up with things we otherwise wouldn’t if we didn’t want the things so bad. But what if you approached love like you were destined to have an amazing love story? What if you were so sure inside yourself that the right person was out there and looking for you too? Every date and relationship you entered would look so different! Because you’d be certain that no matter what happened with that particular person or date that you were destined for great love, and there was no way you could mess that up.
When you approach love like this, all the pressure to make things work, hold on to people who aren’t a good fit, or settle fall away because there is nothing you can do to mess it up. You are destined for great love no matter what and if it’s not them, it’s someone else. When I began to practice this I experienced the most freedom I ever had in love because there was no pressure to be anything less than who I was. It didn’t matter if I laughed too loud, ordered a messy burger on a first date, or said the wrong thing because I was destined for great love, and there was no way I could mess that up. I invite you to try on this belief yourself and see how it feels and changes your love life.
5. Remember You Are Complete All By Yourself
When you remember that you are totally complete by yourself you free yourself from desperate energy which makes it harder to manifest love. You don’t need someone else to be complete. There is no person on planet earth that could make you more cool, interesting, and awesome. You are already all these things. So when you approach love and dating with this energy, there is so much less pressure. You don’t need someone to complete you because you are already complete! Instead, you are looking for someone to compliment you and support you!
When you approach relationships this way the other person can sense there is no pressure to complete you and instead they can feel free to be themselves and enjoy you instead of worry about completing you. Of course you get to have great love, but you don’t need it to be complete. It is okay to want it, but when you feel like your worth is dependent on another person it is time to go inward and fill yourself up first.
I hope you have enjoyed these tips and take away something that helps you manifest the great love of your life! If you are a beginner to manifesting click here to check out Magnetic Manifestor, my manifestation journal! Magnetic Manifestor is for the person who wants to get clear on what they want out of life. You might know a little bit about manifestation and are excited about creating your dream life but you’re not exactly sure what that looks like are how to do it. That’s where Magnetic Manifestor comes in!
It helps you get clear on what you want and how to really master your manifesting skills. From love to money to dream houses, the workbook helps you get clear on all the things and start to manifest your dreams. I breakdown manifestation and make it easy and teach you how to build your faith, trust the universe, and manifest with total ease.
It is $29 and if you are looking to manifest love the love and relationship prompts will be so helpful for you! Though the workbook doesn’t cover exclusively just love, it will teach you how to build your manifestation muscle and start building your dream life. You can check it out here!
I hope you enjoyed this post and until next time,
Don’t give up on your daydreams!
I just want to say I am absolutely buzzing I stumbled across this article! Thank you so much – I needed to read this so bad and I actually feel like I’ve got this! Thank you! X
I love the way you write! I wanted to read all of the message, not just the bullet points and you make me believe that I can do this!
Thank you for this. Crying for what I lost but a little more hopeful for the future.